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invest.

October 13, 2015

 

 

Hello!

 

I hope y'all had a great weekend! Mine was full of GREAT memories, laughter, Soulja Boy & wine. I think my weekend was a must have,  and I pray that you all have a weekend like that sometime soon.

My best friend had a wedding in Italy, and she came home so we all could celebrate their love & new journey as husband and wife. First off, let me repeat that my best friend got married! I think I've longed for her wedding day longer than she had. AH! I'm still so over-the-moon for them both!

 

There was a group of us that went through our college days together. We became a family at Florida State. We lived with each other, ate with each other, cried, laughed, and did life with each other. These girls will forever be my sisters, and it was so good for the soul to spend quality time with them. I announced I was pretending to be 19 again, and I'm pretty sure I lived up to that. Minus the fact that the whole time I talked about how cute my "husband" was vs. my "boyfriend," and I bragged about my TWO children and upcoming minivan! So yeah, maybe I failed the whole 19 gig, but I had a blast being 27 & jamming to Taylor Swift with my long-time besties.

 

This trip was Nick and I's first trip, dare I say it, ever, away from the kids. Yes, we get a night here and there, hire a babysitter once in a while and what not, but this was our first official trip, alone. We've never taken a honeymoon or vacationed as just husband and wife and boy was it needed.

 

As we got a few miles away from the house it hit me, "We don't have a will!" You may laugh, but it finally hit me that this was the first time the two of us traveled together and without the kids. What if something happened to us? I about freaked, but Nick reassured me that all would be fine. Not to mention he told me to hush it because those thoughts were definitely killing the mood.

 

It's been a couple days since our return, and I'm sitting here asking myself a question, "Why do we not invest in us more often?"

 

I know I don't talk much about my marriage on here, because, well, that's my safe place and not an open book to tell all, but I will share a little bit with you.

 

Nick and I got married young. I mean, I dropped out of college, my final year, to say I Do at the age of 20. We. Were. Young.

 

Then we hurried into parenthood.

 

We didn't follow the "book." I mean, yes we had love and then marriage before the baby in the baby carriage, but we didn't have degrees, safe income, a home, etc. before starting our family. We had love and that's all that mattered. And to this day, that is still all that matters.

 

But somewhere along the way, we invested our time in others and the things around us vs. each other and it's been a battle.

 

 

YEAR ONE:

We invested in partying. I cringe while writing that, but it's true. We were young. He was a new soldier with financial freedom and I was still set in my college ways. We didn't have anything tying us down. We partied and partied hard.

 

YEAR TWO:

We invested in our own selves. He was deployed that year and he had to focus on his mission and himself. I on the other hand, was pregnant and home alone. I focused on me and all the donuts - no judging. We did a year long distance, and let me tell you, that was hard. It was even harder having him come home. Things had changed, we had changed. Year two was hard.

 

YEAR THREE:

We invested in Cohban. Coh was just a baby and needed a lot of medical attention. He needed thickened liquids, Occupational Therapy, and many, many doctor visits. He had us on our toes 24/7, which left us with no time to focus on us as a couple. We focused on us as parents.

 

 YEAR FOUR:

We invested in friends. We had just moved home to FL, and we were trying to build a new life. We focused on those we surrounded ourselves with and planting our new lives. We had a fun year, but we still weren't each other's first priority.

 

 YEAR FIVE:

We invested in our careers & new baby. Maddie Lu was born, and we both had started new career paths. I was leaving my SAHM status to a full-time business owner, and he finished his time as a Soldier and quit everything to study at the Police Academy. We invested lots of time into bettering our income to better support our little's. We invested in our dreams, which left no time for fun, especially with each other.

 

YEAR SIX:

We invested in me. I literally could not focus on Nick and give him the attention he needed because I was on bed rest fighting for our sons' lives. He invested in me during this time. He ran our household, he traveled to see me four hours away, and he waited on me. I focused on the boys, then my grief, and then my sorrow. It was dark there in year six.

 

 Now, as we inch closer to our 7th year of marriage it's finally all coming full circle.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

 

I've been doing the Dave Ramsey - FPU, and I've been sticking to our budget. We have goals y'all. We want to own a home, we want to eventually move up North, we want to provide for our kids, and we want to get a minivan. HAHA. Sorry, I had to add that in there.

 

I stared at our budget feeling like we were forgetting something and this weekend it all made sense. We need to invest in each other.

 

If we focus so much on investing in a house, and we're forgetting to invest in those that'll make it a home, then what's the purpose of working so hard for it?

 

If we want to parent with a purpose, but we're forgetting to invest in the one that is our teammate in parenting, then we'll never be as good as God intended us to be.

 

If we keep dreaming of a storybook marriage, but we never invest in our own, then it'll just become the nightmare we've always feared.

 

This past weekend we invested in each other, and we've never laughed so hard, smiled so much, and enjoyed each other as much as we did.  It was worth it. All of it. I woke up Saturday thinking of all my to-do's and realized I had none. All I had was my husband and a full day to enjoy him.

 

So today I'm making a change. I'm adding a slot on our budget card for us. We are going to start making us a priority. Our rent is a priority, but why aren't we? We should be, and we need to be. God designed the marriage to be first priority, after Himself, and it's time we change our mindsets and follow His plan. I need Nick like I need water (cough, coffee, cough). He needs me like he needs football. << See what I did there. :) But seriously, if you're not investing in your marriage, and you find yourselves losing yourselves to the Mom & Dad Title or the Business Owner title, just know it's not too late to add another slot to invest in. Start over.

 

I see so many new couples say "I do," and I think it's time we live our lives as if we've renewed our vows, for the second time, and put our marriage on the pedestal it belongs on.

 

So here's to thinking up some great date nights, less stops at the One Spot at Target, and pawning my kids off to Shannon more often. (You love me Shan.)

 

Here's to an investment I'll never regret.

 

 

 

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