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tune in & truly listen.

October 2, 2016

 

 

 

What does it mean to truly listen to what God is asking of you? What does it look like to fully trust His plan and see it through? What will your heart feel? What will your eyes witness?

 

Through this season of stepping out in God's plan for me, I can attest that truly listening to what God is asking of me stirs up fear and excitement all in one, brokenness yet feeling full at the same time and freedom, oh freedom, how my heart feels free.

 

The other day I was working in our Bible Study and completely broke down in tears. I was alone, cuddled up on my couch, pure silence filled the air and I read His words out loud so they could fully embrace my heart. And that's exactly what they did as my tongue pronounced each sentence, and the words jumped off the page like a poem written just for me.

 

I S A I A H55:10-11

As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

 

Tears. I was full on shaking and releasing all my fears onto Him. You see, I'm afraid. I'm afraid because something God himself has asked me to do is actually happening and so easily. Every day I wake up and I learn of another way God has provided for The Color Blue and Hope and it literally scares me! But God's word waters the earth & makes it flourish. I like the earth am being fed by God's wisdom and what once was a dying tree has sprouted again in {hope} and it's all becoming so clear. There are days I want to fight against this calling. Why me? Why my boys? But God. But God says, Jenna, your boys were the ones to make a difference and for that you should not be angry. It will hurt but I am still God and I am still there. Have you been through a horrific "unimaginable" but seen how God has turned it for good? Have you been able to reach the heart of another hurting wife who was ready to leave her marriage just moments before you opened your heart and shared God's promise in healing and restoration? Have you been able to reach the heart of friend unable to get pregnant and be there and support her through all the memories you once had through infertility and help her realize she is not alone? "It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it." Friend, you're walking in Christ & do not let fear drown out the excitement. Do not let the brokenness swallow the fullness God has provided for your soul and friend, release yourself to feel the freedom of being in Christ & for Christ.

 

I know I've shared this song before, but as I listened to it again today, I felt the Holy Spirit truly take over & once again free me from my doubts. I'm no longer a slave to fear. I AM a child of God.

 

As you listen to these words, try to share with God all of the fears you have when it comes to His calling for you. Lay them down and feel the freedom of His promise wash over you.

 

And with that, here is my chance to lay down one of those fears and tune into something God has asked me to do long before today. My heart is RACING as I near the end of this blog, but my heart is rejoicing in sharing with you the why behind The Color Blue. Why? Grady and Ryder. Grady and Ryder have a purpose in this world. God didn't just create Identical Twin Boys for fun and then take them away just for me to miss them and that's it. No, they were wonderfully made with a purpose and for a purpose. For who? The other moms that feel the same pains that my heart feels daily. For the women that wrestle with the difference in guilt and shame of whether or not she did enough or is doing enough during her bed rest journey. And for you, for you to know that we're all going through something and it's time we all release our fears and journey through this hard thing called life {together} and for {each other}. And so, tonight I want to rest on the why and share the sweet boys behind this journey that will touch hearts and spread God's promise to women who may have lost sight of it. Grady & Ryder, you are the why and I cannot be any more proud to be your mother. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. I love you beyond words.

 

For this child, I have prayed.

 

 

 

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