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a day, a month away.

October 20, 2014

 

 

 

I hope that one day this blog will turn into more happy posts than sad.

 

Until that day...

 

One month. 4 weeks. 30 days. However you put it, today was hard.

 

Waking up was easy, and dancing around the house singing worship songs with the kids made for a great morning.

 

Today will be a good day I thought to myself.

 

Then church began. It's amazing how a single day can be a depressing memory for one person in the room, yet a beautiful memory for the next.

 

Since this all happened, I've been a firm believer that life, in general, is a blessing, a gift from God, and that even though I cannot have my boys, I'd always be happy for those that can have theirs.

A friend of ours had a beautiful boy a few months ago. He was dressed with is big boy shoes & tie. Quite the stud awaiting his baby dedication.

 

Once our Pastor began talking I thought I'd be able to keep it together, and then the video started.

Their sister had created a BEAUTIFUL video of his short little-blessed life.

 

I lost it.

 

A family gathered in the video to meet the new little guy, his daddy held him, his mommy smiled......

 

Where were our memories like this?

 

I was alone in the hospital with my husband, fighting for my own life, after the fact of losing theirs. There was no smiling or cuddling.

 

It hit deep & took everything I had not to run.

 

Sometimes I try to find the solution to each hard time in my life or try to point out the positive, but I like to think that today, I'll just have my day. I think it's okay to be weak. I think it's okay to cry- to miss- to hurt- to have {a day}.

 

After all, God promises there will be joy in the morning.

 

 

Psalm 30:

For his anger is but for a moment,

and his favor is for a lifetime.[c]

Weeping may tarry for the night,

but joy comes with the morning.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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